"Remember before when we you were talking about hitting low points in your life?" "Yeah. Why do you ask?" "No reason..." Teddy Westside replied just before I dove back into the trashcan inside my apartment's mail room.**
Earlier that week, when looking through my mail, I had noticed a free pizza coupon stuffed inside the regular Wednesday coupon pack. With the exception of the occassional Tom Thumb coupon for lunch meat or whatever, I don't usually find anything interesting. This time, however, I realized that I had hit metaphoric gold when I saw a coupon for the Pie Five establishment that was about to open about a mile away from me. To bring in new business and introduce themselves to the community, they had sent out coupons for a free personal pizza with as many toppings as you'd like and no strings attached. There were no "with purchase of..." or even "only one per customer" stipulations. It was just a free pizza.
Obviously, Teddy Westside and I had no choice but to try to find more. Because I knew that other residents wouldn't be so diligent in scanning through the coupons as I am (thanks to my couponing guru of a sister), we knew the first place to look would be the recycle bins around the complex. That's when I was taught the hard lesson that not everyone respects the rules of recycle bins. We had been looking through the bin for coupons (successfully) when we came upon our first show stopper of a McDonalds bag. While I have nothing against McDonalds, I do have something against touching someone else's mystery food trash. We stopped there and moved to the next bin.
After a little more success, we hit another road block of an overturned soda. (Seriously people, it's the recycle bin! I don't care if you don't recycle, but don't ruin the recyclables that everyone else contributes to!) At that point, we had gathered a total of 7 free pizza coupons, when we coined our new motto "7 free pizzas isn't enough," and kept digging (making the gold analogy from before all the more apt).
By the end of the day (or after probably 20 minutes), we had gathered a whopping total of twelve pizza coupons. All of which we used in the span of a week. Granted, Teddy Westside and I were not the only two using the coupons. We also shared them with Teddy's lovely lady friend, as well as Maddy and Hannah. Regardless, that is still a lot of pizza for me to eat in a week (and what a delicious week it was). Not only did we get delicious pizzas, but Pie Five also sells Pie Holes, which are basically donut holes covered in cinnamon sugar with frosting dipping sauce (that's right, all of your dreams have come true).
Anyway, the whole point of this story is that after that delicious week, I realized that my healthy eating was totally out of whack. Between Valentine's Day and Mardi Gras, it didn't get any better either. As a result, I'm going back on South Beach, sort of. More info to come later.
While dumpster diving for pizza coupons might have been one of the low points in my life, what are some of the hilarious lows you've hit? Have you tried my favorite specialty pizza, the Pie Five High Five? Are you concerned that South Beach is one of those fad crash diets? Because don't worry, it's actually very healthy when done properly, and is really good for people with inherent blood sugar issues like myself.
**Note: my poor memory means that these are not direct quotes from the conversation between Teddy Westside and myself, but rather what I can best recall from the incident. Though the wording may have changed, the gist and the spirit of the conversation are still intact.